You're so nebulous sometimes
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
