babies were throwing up all over the place
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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