just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
