You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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