Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize