I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
