I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
