My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
