do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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