Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
