I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
