I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
