still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
