after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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