Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize