yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
