He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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