Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
