sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
