So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
