I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
