Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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