I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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