I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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