I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
