I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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