Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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