I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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