i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
