I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
