Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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