Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize