Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
