billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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