yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
