there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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