she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
