oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
