when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it was like eating out sand paper
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize