i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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