i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
