Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
