dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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