3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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