Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
