4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
