I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
