The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
