Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
