meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
