PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is the high leading the old right now
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
