He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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