He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
