You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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