I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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