so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
