This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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