): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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