There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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