i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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