Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
