halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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