there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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