I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
