I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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