I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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