we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
