dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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