i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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